What is love.

...

He released me last night. What was one of the worst nights of my life got much worse by him releasing me. I ended up in the execution plaza, and Nilok came to find me to pick up the broken pieces. He carried me back to his place and put me into his bed and held me and we talked and I cried. I apologized for being such a mess, and he said that there were a lot worse messes he had been forced to clean up nad it was ok.

It was very clear that he had made his choice, and it was Xeia. He promised to help me get the collar off, agreeing that all it did was serve to remind me of what I had once had. He told me over and over that it was not my fault and the only thing I did wrong was be a good and obedient slave and that was not wrong. I don't know if he managed to convince me.

The funny thing was last night he said he'd pushed so many people into that pit, and now he was trying to get me not to go in. He said that it would be ok. He said he woudl help me put my life back together.

I feel so fragile and alone.